in me?

He wrote: What is this you see in me? Am I worthy of anything at all? Haven't I failed all the tests? Haven't I just got you more complications? You said I could be a shelter, but look at me, I just harvest dissapointment. "I am beyond repair". These words came to me like written in the sky just for me, like seeing my mind in a mirror. I am disposable in you and for you. I have seen it all, and felt it all. What do you expect from me? To break my mold and become what you think I can become? There is no more damage I could find as new. I know how deep I'm into this, and I know where the exit door is, I love to run the other way. How blind am I not to see the light you see in me? How can you even trust me? I believe in your shivers, but mine lay rusted in a memory long withered. There is nothing you can do to bring me back to my senses. I've drank the sourest zip for everything I've experienced and I won't be teaching you my evil ways, you are made of light. My fragile mind is my haven lately. You, you are just a flux, a coincidence, a shot of luck, a bloom. Me on the other side, am a jinx, a curse, a cul-de-sac, a cocoon. I am your favorite bag of fears. How can you speak words of love to who has lost himself? What is this in front of you? Do you realize my search of self-destruction leads me apart from you? My heart beats blood. "Emotions against wellbeing", I've got the emotions taking me too far away from my safest place, I search for the moment and you want me to realize on the long-run. My actions will always contradict my feelings. Love against pleasure. And I want you to blame me for this, to judge me for this, to break me if it pleases you... But don't try too hard 'cause you can't reach me, not anymore. Can you see my "point"? "God forbid you walk in my shoes"! It took too many scars to understand that strength is opposite to running away. I am weak. I starve, I can't quench myself with too few. I search and search ravenously for a little impulse to release my fear. I hunger for another rush! That is my routine... Lost the boundaries and the lines. Something inside of my head, trying to reach a way out. Words can not help me this time, I wish I could let out all the secrets and shout them all out to get even with myself. I'm just willing to feel it crawl in! No one can see the other side of me, you won't get the whole picture of me... And yes, I do am ashamed of my journey... Gone so far to lose myself in the goal of reaching my own. Nothing is as good as you thought... Can you see it now? How long does it takes to confuse? Even I lose my thread while trying to draw a better picture of my inner-self to you. What is this you see?

And she just said: I see you...