Redecorate by Twenty Øne Pilots

-There was a wonderful structure to the city

And it put my cares to rest-

Taking inventory of his life

Seeing snapshots chronologically in line

Something told him he should look around and tidy up

He collected many things but never quite enough

Tried looking at it from a new perspective

Flat on his back but he still heard the directive

Orders from that corner where that shadow always lived

Never asked permissions he just hopes that they forgive

I don't want to go like this

At least let me clean my room

I don't want to leave like this

'Cause the last thing I want to do is

Make my people make decisions

Wondering what to do, oh

Should they keep it on display

Or redecorate?

Blankets over mirrors, she tends to like it 

he's not afraid of her reflection

But of what she might see behind it

She had plans to change her name

Just not the traditional way

Haunted by a couple big mistakes

She covers all the dents with the way she decorates

Then one night she got cold with no blankets on her bed

So she ripped them off the mirror, stepped back and she said

I don't want to go like this

At least let me clean my room

I don't want to leave like this

'Cause the last thing I want to do is

Make my people make decisions

Wondering what to do, oh

Should they keep it on display

Or redecorate?

With the bells and the whistles scaled back

Like an isolated track

And he feels trapped when he's not inebriated

Fair to say he's fairly sedated most days of the week

He might have made it if he lived on a different street

I repeat, scaled back and isolated

He says he likes an open schedule but he mostly hates it

If you're running to his room, take a breath before you break-in

Put your ear up to the door, tell me can you hear him saying?

I don't want to go like this

At least let me clean my room

I don't want to leave like this

'Cause the last thing I want to do is

Make my people make decisions

Wondering what to do, oh

Should they keep it on display

Or redecorate?

(a song for me... please, just redecorate!)

Song for You by Rhye

A blue song.

FTF 37

Coming to understand myself and accepting who I am and what I came for. Letting go of all the burdens to become my own... If my mission is to love, I should start from the inside.

1. Bassnectar - Butterfly (Featuring Mimi Page): Set as an intro...
2. PVRIS - Old Wounds: They say don't open old wounds, but this is still brand new.
3. Gorillaz - Chalk Tablet Towers: The catchiest song on the machine.
4. Oliver Tree - Jerk: You say you don't want me...
5. Beady Eye - Shine A Light: Meant to be here for a couple years, and finally found its place.
6. Arctic Monkeys - Dance Little Liar: A sexy song to be sung for myself and danced by you.
7. Mother Mother - I Must Cry Out Loud: Yes, I must. The hidden gem through it all. 
8. O'Brother - Slipping: I'm pulling punches instead of just leaving.
9. Brand New - Same Logic / Teeth: Every new layer you uncover reveals something else you hate.
10. Zeal And Ardor - At The Seams: Desperation and helplessness... October/19 and George Floyd.
11. Deftones - Genesis: Balance.
12. LIMBS - Empty Vessel: How long is the breath that I have to hold before I'm worth my weight in gold? Ghosts.
13. Slipknot - Nero Forte: A drive home with anger in my fists.
14. Trivium - Catastrophist: For the both of us...

15. Seether - Wasteland: Nobody seems to be able to shed the treadwheel.

16. Marilyn Manson - BROKEN NEEDLE: I am a needle dig in your grooves, scratch you up then I'll put you away.
17. Bring Me The Horizon - One Day The Only Butterflies Left Will Be In Your Chest As You March Towards Your Death (Featuring Amy Lee)

Coming to flesh out all the feeling inside to pave a way for a better self. Not shy of who I've become, all the different emotions and landscapes that are who I am now.

Share it with me.

I Must Cry Out Loud by Mother Mother

Here come my tears

Like a dancer on a stage

I got nothing to fear

Just a hurricane of feeling

Baby, come here

Show me how to shake

I wanna move like the air

A pirouette of pain

Now, I must cry

Yes, I must cry

Yes, I must cry out loud

Why do I sing (like loe-la-loe-la-le)

That's why I sing

I'm a force in the wind (like loe-la-loe-la-he)

Can you hear me?

Why do we live (yeah)

We live so we might live a little bit

Why do we dig (yeah)

We dig so we might find it, can you dig it?

Now, I must cry

Yes, I must cry

Yes, I must cry out loud

Slipping by O'Brother

You’re a place I cannot leave

A space I cannot see

A pitfall underneath

I’m slipping

You’re a poison in my teeth

A tongue I cannot speak

A pitfall underneath

I’m slipping

Devil in your bed

I’m pulling punches instead of getting even

Devil in your bed

I’m pulling punches instead of just leaving

You’re loss I cannot grieve

A truth I disbelieve

A pitfall underneath and

I’m slipping

It’s a tangled web

We weave drunk on pleasantries

A pitfall underneath and

I’m slipping

Devil in your bed

I’m pulling punches instead of getting even

Devil in your bed

I’m pulling punches instead of just leaving

 

Jerk by Oliver Tree

You say you don't want me

You call me good for nothing straight to my face

You say you don't need me

You call me good for nothing, a waste of space

Don't remind me

I'm minding my own damn business

Don't try to find me

I'm better left alone in this

It doesn't surprise me

Do you really think that I could care

If you really don't like me

Find somebody else

It could be anyone else out there

Don't fret

I don't ever wanna see you

And I never wanna meet you again

One thing

When you're angry, you're a jerk

And then you treat me like I'm worth nothing

Don't fret

I don't ever wanna see you

And I never wanna meet you again

It'll happen again

I'll watch it happen over and over again

You say you don't want me

You call me good for nothing straight to my face

You say you don't need me

You call me good for nothing, a waste of space

I watch the walls caving in on me

I'm sick of feeling so fucking lonely

By now I've given up all hope

I guess I'm better off alone

Don't fret

I don't ever wanna see you

And I never wanna meet you again

One thing

When you're angry, you're a jerk

And then you treat me like I'm worth nothing

Don't fret

I don't ever wanna see you

And I never wanna meet you again

It'll happen again

I'll watch it happen over and over again

384 400

Dreamt about the moon last night
(You were) dressed in black and yet you'd shine
(I heard) you were talking 'bout your time
(That you'd) wait for us to reunite

(You have it all)

Dreamt about your gloomy face
(Yet I'd) knew it was your soul and grace
(I could) hear the laughter I would chase
(And you) offered me the chance we slayed

(You have it all)
Don't waste your purity on chaos
(You have it all)
Your smile is granted up above
(You have it all)
384 thousand you call home
(You have it all)
Don't come closer just for laughs

Dreamt about the space between
(There's no) way for me to reach you now
(If I'd) meant to go would not get through
(And you) never stayed still for long

(You have it all)

Dreamt about my broken soul
(I will) always have my eyes on you
(I said) sun will fade but I'd remain
(Sadly) open eyes will show the truth

(You have it all)
Don't waste your purity on chaos
(You have it all)
Your smile is granted up above
(You have it all)
384 thousand you call home
(You have it all)
Don't come closer just for laughs

Wandering across the space between
384 400
384 400
384 400

FTF 36

Learning to live in a new normality... still afraid but kept safe within these songs...

1. Lamb Of God - Bloodshot Eyes: Angst ridden kickstart.
2. Bad/Love - DMU
3. Imminence - Wake Me Up: I'm going under.
4. Gojira - Another World
5. Seether - Drift Away: The song that set this off. Who are you?
6. O'Brother - Killing Spree: Drink my madness if you want to drown
7. Marilyn Manson - SOLVE COAGULA: I'm not special, I'm just broken and I don't wanna be fixed.
8. Like A Villain - You Got It: New discovery.
9. Deftones - The Spell Of Mathematics: Bathtubs that would be the perfect scenario for this all.
10. scarlxrd - SAVE YXUR GRACE
11. Ihsahn - Roads (Portishead cover): This song was meant to be here for at least two decades.
12. Son Lux - Plans We Made: I'm afraid to let you go.
13. Ruelle - The Other Side
14. Gorillaz - Broken: The feeling left after spending weeks together.
15. Glass Animal - Your Love (Déjà Vu): A Blue song.
16. Biffy Clyro - Instant History
17. The Pineapple Thief - Demons: 'cause I've got demons. Yeah, you should know.

18. Good Tiger - If You Weren't My Son I'd Hug You

If you're curious, here it is...

Drift Away (by Seether)

Don't let anyone cry on your shoulder

Don't let misery bring you down

Beauty fades away as you get older

Such a shame that you hate yourself

When I saw the feelings go to waste

But it all comes as no surprise

And I feel I let it slip away

Left so hollow and dead inside

And I realize I was too afraid

So much wasted time

I feel you drift away

On the surface it seems like I'm colder

Underneath it all I'm not fine

You do well in the eyes of beholders

But I feel ugly as sin inside

When I saw the feelings go to waste

But it all comes as no surprise

And I feel I let it slip away

Left so hollow and dead inside

And I realize I was too afraid

So much wasted time

I feel you drift away

Who are you to let me bleed?

Who are you to set me free?

When I saw the feelings go to waste

But it all comes as no surprise

And I feel I let it slip away

Left so hollow and dead inside

And I realize I was too afraid

So much wasted time

I feel you drift away

Locus (by O'Brother)

I woke up in the in-between

And my head expands

My head expands

Muttering words of prophecy

From a fever dream

You shared with me

I am right here, where I've always been

Further up and further in

I am right here, where I've always been

Further up and further in

You run like a criminal

When you need me

You were tongue-tied and elegant

When you need me

Love is careless, love is blind

Love is envious

I'm envious

Always thought it was hard to find

But I'm oblivious

Oblivious

I am right here, where I've always been

Further up and further in

I am right here, where I've always been

Further up and further in

You run like a criminal

When you need me

You were tongue-tied and elegant

When you need me

You need me

I am right here, where I've always been

Further up and further in

I am right here, where I've always been

Further up and further in

You run like a criminal

When you need me

You were tongue-tied and elegant

When you need me

SOLVE COAGULA by Marilyn Manson

You are the one

Tore off both your arms

Gouged out your eyes

And ripped out your own tongue

So listen

I'm not special

I'm just broken

And I don't wanna be fixed

No one else

I, no one else I

Wanna be like

So I stayed the same

Like nobody else

So you think you can sing or clap

Well all you need is an ear

So listen

I'm not special

I'm just broken

And I don't wanna be fixed

No one else

I, no one else I

Wanna be like

So I stayed the same

Like nobody else

I'm not special

I'm just broken

And I don't wanna be fixed