En el final todos terminamos igual...
Nuestras decisiones por más pequeñas que sean trascienden el tiempo e incluso nuestro propio determinamiento en la vida.
Y a veces quedarse arrepentido en el piso por dejar ir es un proceso saludable.
No para tomarlo como una prueba a la veracidad de lo que fue (todo lo que nos ha pasado es inmutable!), sino para demostrarnos que nosotros podemos moldear muchas cosas a la final...
Doy pasos para acercarme a mis pasiones,
doy pasos para alejarme de lo que me apasiona...
Doy pasos para encerrarme en mi mundo,
doy pasos para abrir mi mente a mil nuevos caminos peligrosos.
Doy pasos para olvidar las palabras que hieren,
doy pasos para acordarme de los momentos que me quitan el aliento.
He llegado a ser tan contradictorio en palabra/hechos que me desconozco,
y han de pasar otros cinco minutos y nada de esto me hará efecto verdadero por dentro...
Necesito tu voz de niña, necesito tus gestos y tu mano extendida para mi,
lo necesito tanto como volver a ser esa persona que tiene afecto y piensa en un futuro mejor.
Y ahora se siente soledad al por mayor (pero no de gratis porque el precio se mide en sonrisas, y me cuestan tanto!)...
Tanto que buscaba esto para detestarlo y resurgir... Pero mis ojos se pueden adaptar a la oscuridad! Do I want them to?
En el final todos terminamos igual...
miércoles, 31 de octubre de 2007
martes, 30 de octubre de 2007
lunes, 29 de octubre de 2007
SILENCE
Even silence has a shape... What would it be?
I've been wondering what it feels to be alone...
Now I am desiring never to move out!
Y siempre encuentro una nueva razón para parar
No dar más quedarme aquí en este metro cuadrado.
¿Qué más puedo pedir?
No soy quién para cruzarme en otro destino.
Todos seguimos caminando, cada cual con su pena
Sigues tú, ella, el y yo, cada cual con su sueño.
Finalmente solo en todo aspecto,
solo espero encontrar la punta de mi sombra,
juntarme a ella finalmente a esperar,
paciencia, debe llegar esa luz que buscaba.
O talvez la encontré y la estoy dejando marchar,
y la causa es esta búsqueda de soledad.
No puedo concebir que no estén tus ojos,
ni tu cuerpo ni tu ira en mi futuro.
Pero entre deber y poder y querer me detengo
Si, me detengo antes de caer al abismo...
Prefiero no elegir, nunca me ha gustado eso,
prefiero que llegue la luz por sí misma.
Quiero sentir por vez definitiva el arribo,
el llegar de esa fuerza que me derrumbe
con solo estar presente y cercana
que destroce mis barreras con crueldad,
para demostrarme que detrás estaba yo mismo,
que la luz está dentro de mi... de alguna manera...
Mientras tanto me callo...
No imploro, no grito, no pido, no ruego.
Disfruto el silencio y pasividad de la soledad,
sin figuras, sin luces y sin voces...
Keep sticking your needles in me,
I will break or die, but never scream!
Find the fastest way into my brain,
in and out, and all the way through!
Can you? Will you? Must you?
I don't know, but I like it!
I've been wondering what it feels to be alone...
Now I am desiring never to move out!
Y siempre encuentro una nueva razón para parar
No dar más quedarme aquí en este metro cuadrado.
¿Qué más puedo pedir?
No soy quién para cruzarme en otro destino.
Todos seguimos caminando, cada cual con su pena
Sigues tú, ella, el y yo, cada cual con su sueño.
Finalmente solo en todo aspecto,
solo espero encontrar la punta de mi sombra,
juntarme a ella finalmente a esperar,
paciencia, debe llegar esa luz que buscaba.
O talvez la encontré y la estoy dejando marchar,
y la causa es esta búsqueda de soledad.
No puedo concebir que no estén tus ojos,
ni tu cuerpo ni tu ira en mi futuro.
Pero entre deber y poder y querer me detengo
Si, me detengo antes de caer al abismo...
Prefiero no elegir, nunca me ha gustado eso,
prefiero que llegue la luz por sí misma.
Quiero sentir por vez definitiva el arribo,
el llegar de esa fuerza que me derrumbe
con solo estar presente y cercana
que destroce mis barreras con crueldad,
para demostrarme que detrás estaba yo mismo,
que la luz está dentro de mi... de alguna manera...
Mientras tanto me callo...
No imploro, no grito, no pido, no ruego.
Disfruto el silencio y pasividad de la soledad,
sin figuras, sin luces y sin voces...
Keep sticking your needles in me,
I will break or die, but never scream!
Find the fastest way into my brain,
in and out, and all the way through!
Can you? Will you? Must you?
I don't know, but I like it!
jueves, 25 de octubre de 2007
VIVA EL PRIMER MUNDO!!!
Otro tema del que quería halbar es la indignante agresión a una compatriota en España! Y la justicia? Vivan los países desarrollados, el primer mundo, el paraíso!!! Y cada repetición del video más aumenta ese sentimiento de más de cinco siglos... Pero más indignante es saber que en nuestro propio país ecuatorianos contra ecuatorianos reproducen esas prácticas bajo los mismos paradigmas!!! EN PLENA AMÉRICA MESTIZA!!! Vamos mi querida humanidad... Eso es, cada vez más cerca de la autodestrucción!!! Lindo mundo para los hijos que algún día vendrán a probar el resultado de nuestras decisiones. Si pues, vamos bien mundo, sigamos matando, discriminando, contaminando!!! Y presidentes asesinos son reelegidos en el mundo desarrollado!!! Eso es democracia, mediocracia!!! Que viva el ejemplo del norte!!! Vamos, que cuando crezcamos queremos ser como ustedes!!! Genocidas xenófobos extorsionadores!!! Vamos, que al crecer también pondremos a los menores bajo las 1000 y una condición para que crezcan!!! Vamos pues, lindo el planeta!!! El ejemplo de desarrollo que tenemos del primer mundo!!! Si!!! Vivan los medios de comunicación y sus telementiras!!! Viva el lavado de cerebro!!! Viva la reducción del coeficiente intelectual humano!!! Viva la involución!!! Viva nuestra gris naturaleza!!! Vivan los que callan las voces libres!!! Que lindo debe ser el primer mundo, un paso más cerca de 1984!!! Viva todo eso!!! Viva el siglo XXI!!! Viva el camino del hombre!!! Viva el racionalismo!!! Viva el esceptisismo!!! Vamos que aun podemos conseguir destruir completamente el mundo!!! Vamos que si se puede matar la esperanza de que un día todos podamos despertar y sentirnos agradecidos de vivir en un planeta donde los colores son reales y la sonrisa es natural, donde las calles están llenas de niños y niñas felices, con educación, con el respaldo de una familia capaz de sacarlo adelante, donde comer tres veces al día es algo accesible para todos, donde cada persona tiene la seguridad de salir adelante y todos y todas podemos tomarnos de la mano juntos a agradecer lo que hemos conseguido!!! Estamos en el camino correcto para matar esa esperanza... Porque realmente parece que en el fondo eso nos proponen desde el primer mundo: matémonos los unos a los otros; discrimina a tu prójimo, contaminarás los cielos y los ríos y la tierra... Esas son las buenas nuevas entendidas por los países desarrollados, ese es el lema de las cruzadas militares y mediáticas que arrazan con lo que queda del resto de nosotros, los de abajo, los subdesarrollados, los del tercer mundo. ¿Cómo responderemos ante este panorama? Ahí te kiero ver!
Bueno, luego de explotar lo que llevaba dentro... pa terminar, algo que me emocionó en serio... Leía sobre Nine Inch Nails y encontré esto, hablando de la canción Closer...
"The song was covered by Ecuadorian alternative act SIQ, with most of their music adapted into a more rock style song. It is played by the band live on many performances including their performance in the massive Colombian festival "Rock al parque" in 2005." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closer_to_God
Bueno, luego de explotar lo que llevaba dentro... pa terminar, algo que me emocionó en serio... Leía sobre Nine Inch Nails y encontré esto, hablando de la canción Closer...
"The song was covered by Ecuadorian alternative act SIQ, with most of their music adapted into a more rock style song. It is played by the band live on many performances including their performance in the massive Colombian festival "Rock al parque" in 2005." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closer_to_God
HERIDAS QUE NO DUELEN...
Y bueno, todo es como un río, dicen, todo sigue su curso... Para nunca detenerse... Bien está!
En realidad, no busco nada y no pretendo nada extraordinario, no espero nada anormal (bueno, tampoco quiero nada normal!), solo me dejo llevar por los vientos de cada día, y aca, las lluvias de cada tarde.
Luego de sobrepasar el umbral del dolor uno entra en otro nivel senti/mental (se aprende a omitir las primeras dos silabas para enfocarse en las dos últimas!). Ahí es cuando las heridas ya no duelen, cuando las emociones duran cinco minutos y las palabras dejan de brotar fluidamente...
Si, centrarse en uno mismo, cobijarse bajo la defensa de una barrera inmune e invulnerable es como que más fácil y certero. Pues si, es verdad, digan lo que digan, escriban lo que escriban. Puede ser cobarde y puede ser ofensivo en ciertas ocasiones, también, pero donde queda al amarte a ti mismo? Esa es la primera instancia y referente de lo que puedas reflejar a los demás! Pues si, y es terapéutico!!! Jajaja... Ya pues, al menos da seguridad!
Amortiguado de tanta caida no pienso volver a volar ciegamente. Y esta vez espero decirlo en serio!
Hmmm, detestaría tener un plan de vida y aferrarme a él como si eso fuera a salvarme de este mundo!!! Pero me detestaría aun más a mi mismo si por ese plan dejo de lado las cosas que me hacen feliz a mí (música... música... batería... música... leer... música... escribir... escribir música... respirar... dormir... música... comer... domir... música... una palabra dulce al acabar el día... oírla en la música...café... música bajo la lluvia... Kito... L&S...). Así de voluble soy!
Y si me dejo llevar por las palabras es por intentar buscar un refugio! Eso es lo que debe cambiar, yo mismo puedo ser mi refugio, al menos con los fonos bien puestos!!!!
Los demás que sigan caminando, que se casen, que tengan hijos, que crezcan, que sean felices! Me alegro mucho!!! En serio. El mundo sigue dando vueltas... Qué le vamos a hacer? Solo no debo olvidarme de respirar... What goes around come around and I suppose around the corner there's gotta be something to make me proud!
Qué le vamos a hacer? Sigan clavando o intentando clavar las agujas... De hecho, se siente bien!
No duelen las heridas cuando uno ya no quiere sentirlas! Jajaja... SI O QUÉ???
En realidad, no busco nada y no pretendo nada extraordinario, no espero nada anormal (bueno, tampoco quiero nada normal!), solo me dejo llevar por los vientos de cada día, y aca, las lluvias de cada tarde.
Luego de sobrepasar el umbral del dolor uno entra en otro nivel senti/mental (se aprende a omitir las primeras dos silabas para enfocarse en las dos últimas!). Ahí es cuando las heridas ya no duelen, cuando las emociones duran cinco minutos y las palabras dejan de brotar fluidamente...
Si, centrarse en uno mismo, cobijarse bajo la defensa de una barrera inmune e invulnerable es como que más fácil y certero. Pues si, es verdad, digan lo que digan, escriban lo que escriban. Puede ser cobarde y puede ser ofensivo en ciertas ocasiones, también, pero donde queda al amarte a ti mismo? Esa es la primera instancia y referente de lo que puedas reflejar a los demás! Pues si, y es terapéutico!!! Jajaja... Ya pues, al menos da seguridad!
Amortiguado de tanta caida no pienso volver a volar ciegamente. Y esta vez espero decirlo en serio!
Hmmm, detestaría tener un plan de vida y aferrarme a él como si eso fuera a salvarme de este mundo!!! Pero me detestaría aun más a mi mismo si por ese plan dejo de lado las cosas que me hacen feliz a mí (música... música... batería... música... leer... música... escribir... escribir música... respirar... dormir... música... comer... domir... música... una palabra dulce al acabar el día... oírla en la música...café... música bajo la lluvia... Kito... L&S...). Así de voluble soy!
Y si me dejo llevar por las palabras es por intentar buscar un refugio! Eso es lo que debe cambiar, yo mismo puedo ser mi refugio, al menos con los fonos bien puestos!!!!
Los demás que sigan caminando, que se casen, que tengan hijos, que crezcan, que sean felices! Me alegro mucho!!! En serio. El mundo sigue dando vueltas... Qué le vamos a hacer? Solo no debo olvidarme de respirar... What goes around come around and I suppose around the corner there's gotta be something to make me proud!
Qué le vamos a hacer? Sigan clavando o intentando clavar las agujas... De hecho, se siente bien!
No duelen las heridas cuando uno ya no quiere sentirlas! Jajaja... SI O QUÉ???
martes, 16 de octubre de 2007
WHAT IF (from a month ago...)
What if I can't hold my head tonight?
Will I ever hold the pressure of loneliness
I know my space is not the place I am
My space is the epmty place at your side
Can you hear me now?
I thought I could have everything calmed
Like if I could be in control of it all
But this time I can't keep like this
I feel I am empty and lonely right here.
Just want to close my eyes and fly...
I have always tried to find this,
The place where I belong, where I fit
And now I found it, your eyes are it
See me now, lying here so cold
Desiring to be gone and out and free
Killing distances and gaining time
Too many things been aborted in here
Never thought it will be this way!
And I deserve all the recent smiles
But you deserve the hapiness lost
Let me be the tool for your dreams
Hear me now, I scream my soul out,
I WANT YOU TO COUNT ON ME!
Life was simple and emotionless
My past is a recopilation of mistakes
But then coincidences built a new path
Everything brought us to this moment
Right here and right now...
You there cold, me here alone,
But at the same time in the end.
Picture out how future can be...
Can you see the place around US?
Our house our own new world for you and I
Our everything, our time and distance
Nothing else to be set apart from it
No past, no regrets, no mistakes
NOT ANYMORE!
When you find you're place in the world
You better hold it strongly, never let go
That's your grip for the rest of your life.
YOU ARE WHAT WAS MISSING HERE!
And it is beyond your eyes or lips,
beyond your hair and all your beautyness,
it is about the way you smile with me,
how you relate to me every time,
it's about the right words coming from you
about the million times you surprise me
the way you break my paradigms,
all the ways you can make me shiver top to toe,
No duality in the end, no more sorrow
It is you at the end of the day making me smile
What I have been looking for since day 1
You found me to show me wich way to go,
to show me how it all would be from then
To tell me that I really deserve something
Something better, the best...
To tell me I deserve to be happy...
And I am happy knowing that you love me
And knowing that I am in love of you!
All these quakes in my mind and heart,
The explosions in my body and soul
It is all a chain of emotions that come from you
It is just a little show of what I feel
Everytime you are there, with me,
every touch, every glimpse and every breath,
every step and every second...
What if nothing was real?
What if we wouldn't ever found each other?
What if this is an illusion?
What if these words are just a dream?
Well, please, nobody shake me,
Nobody wake me, nobody look at me
I am living the most pleasent dream of them all
I found your eyes and you found my heart,
And he only illusion is what will come next,
Our reality is that we love each other!
That is what is true for US!
I AM WIDE AWAKE!
I AM REALLY HAPPY!
I AM WITH YOU
AND NOONE WILL EVER TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US
But fate is bigger than us!
Can you feel this?
I deserve to feel something...
Will I ever hold the pressure of loneliness
I know my space is not the place I am
My space is the epmty place at your side
Can you hear me now?
I thought I could have everything calmed
Like if I could be in control of it all
But this time I can't keep like this
I feel I am empty and lonely right here.
Just want to close my eyes and fly...
I have always tried to find this,
The place where I belong, where I fit
And now I found it, your eyes are it
See me now, lying here so cold
Desiring to be gone and out and free
Killing distances and gaining time
Too many things been aborted in here
Never thought it will be this way!
And I deserve all the recent smiles
But you deserve the hapiness lost
Let me be the tool for your dreams
Hear me now, I scream my soul out,
I WANT YOU TO COUNT ON ME!
Life was simple and emotionless
My past is a recopilation of mistakes
But then coincidences built a new path
Everything brought us to this moment
Right here and right now...
You there cold, me here alone,
But at the same time in the end.
Picture out how future can be...
Can you see the place around US?
Our house our own new world for you and I
Our everything, our time and distance
Nothing else to be set apart from it
No past, no regrets, no mistakes
NOT ANYMORE!
When you find you're place in the world
You better hold it strongly, never let go
That's your grip for the rest of your life.
YOU ARE WHAT WAS MISSING HERE!
And it is beyond your eyes or lips,
beyond your hair and all your beautyness,
it is about the way you smile with me,
how you relate to me every time,
it's about the right words coming from you
about the million times you surprise me
the way you break my paradigms,
all the ways you can make me shiver top to toe,
No duality in the end, no more sorrow
It is you at the end of the day making me smile
What I have been looking for since day 1
You found me to show me wich way to go,
to show me how it all would be from then
To tell me that I really deserve something
Something better, the best...
To tell me I deserve to be happy...
And I am happy knowing that you love me
And knowing that I am in love of you!
All these quakes in my mind and heart,
The explosions in my body and soul
It is all a chain of emotions that come from you
It is just a little show of what I feel
Everytime you are there, with me,
every touch, every glimpse and every breath,
every step and every second...
What if nothing was real?
What if we wouldn't ever found each other?
What if this is an illusion?
What if these words are just a dream?
Well, please, nobody shake me,
Nobody wake me, nobody look at me
I am living the most pleasent dream of them all
I found your eyes and you found my heart,
And he only illusion is what will come next,
Our reality is that we love each other!
That is what is true for US!
I AM WIDE AWAKE!
I AM REALLY HAPPY!
I AM WITH YOU
AND NOONE WILL EVER TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US
But fate is bigger than us!
Can you feel this?
I deserve to feel something...
jueves, 11 de octubre de 2007
ANYONE I COULD STAND FOR?
Noone!
When everyone turns the back on you what's left?
Broken trust for you nahive expression of existence
Rusting in fear and desperation for the blood shed
One day, just one day to dissapear and change it all.
Invisible like a dead man to hunt this illusions
Passive agressiveness gone far away right now.
Animosity arousing and crawling in the edge of blades
Rumble the floor beneath me to burn it all around
Come closer, yes, now look at my blank eyes again
Then turn away and find a place to hide from them
Conquering another step of malice corrupting me
White erased, innocence stolen, kindness forgotten.
Monster that had to wake with a last message from you
Close the circle, move on, realize it was a waste of mind
Stop the justifications and trying to redeem the loses
No remorse, no regrets, just my anger in darkness!
Lighting my way say you tried to be on my lost path?
Well, break my paradigma and bring down my hollowness
All that's right is all that avoids my presence in the name
Reach out something to save you from your starvation.
Words keep stinging the memory of that we called beautiful
Let it be and send it away in the blink of a deathly kiss
One more trip to the shores of a lovely hole in nowhere
The final deliverance, the last remains of this broken soul.
Noble you are I know, noble to stand what can't be changed,
honest to recognize there is a better scheme than wasting this,
pure to admit what was carved before to change what's to come,
cold to ignore there are such things as hurt and heart and more.
Callousness, disregard, pride mold the new being breeding,
spines and tentacles to touch and a shell as hard as the mask.
Trade another piece of mind for another pound of fresh flesh
I lick the dust of dreams spilled over the sandy floor around me.
What is there for us when the night choses to swallow the smiles?
Cruel moon bleeds rain over my dimmed ravenous aura,
And my lungs have been thrown out with every new scream at her.
Travel through deaf winds to touch the delicate skin of your fallen ears.
Running frantic in circles I know i might, sooner or later, fall
Been there before, adored that in the past and built my idols there.
Sadistic desires of opening my chest wide open to show myself,
Drenching my body for pleasure, laughing out my guts for you.
The barriers have been moved to distract me in reflections,
And you are the statue in the middle standing there adorable,
so lovely stuck in my sinaptic unstoppable floods,
there, inside, as pretty an natural as usual, the perfect virus!
Angel with death wings, so grey and open, ready to fly,
to take me to another state of mind, and once again you stab.
Don't move, never been here before, not afraid but confused,
don't speak, don't breath, don't fly away my fallen angel...
Tell me, how was the face of the prodcut aborted merciless?
The one with a name, even before the light she had a name.
That makes it a human, a name and a future left aside for plans,
three letters erased from the plans of an Almighty planner.
And at nights, in darkness, laying down, eyes closed,
I repeat the same words to the One that listens my mute yells,
Be there, inside, turn flesh out of stone, unblind the beauty eyes,
Take me away if the will is that, but touch and put a smile on her.
In the end, I don't mind to be quiet in a wet and porous corner,
bald and blind and deaf, naked and freezing, infected and weak,
as long as you don't care and don't look at the sinking picture.
Once upon a time a person was happy, just then faced the truth!
NOONE!
When everyone turns the back on you what's left?
Broken trust for you nahive expression of existence
Rusting in fear and desperation for the blood shed
One day, just one day to dissapear and change it all.
Invisible like a dead man to hunt this illusions
Passive agressiveness gone far away right now.
Animosity arousing and crawling in the edge of blades
Rumble the floor beneath me to burn it all around
Come closer, yes, now look at my blank eyes again
Then turn away and find a place to hide from them
Conquering another step of malice corrupting me
White erased, innocence stolen, kindness forgotten.
Monster that had to wake with a last message from you
Close the circle, move on, realize it was a waste of mind
Stop the justifications and trying to redeem the loses
No remorse, no regrets, just my anger in darkness!
Lighting my way say you tried to be on my lost path?
Well, break my paradigma and bring down my hollowness
All that's right is all that avoids my presence in the name
Reach out something to save you from your starvation.
Words keep stinging the memory of that we called beautiful
Let it be and send it away in the blink of a deathly kiss
One more trip to the shores of a lovely hole in nowhere
The final deliverance, the last remains of this broken soul.
Noble you are I know, noble to stand what can't be changed,
honest to recognize there is a better scheme than wasting this,
pure to admit what was carved before to change what's to come,
cold to ignore there are such things as hurt and heart and more.
Callousness, disregard, pride mold the new being breeding,
spines and tentacles to touch and a shell as hard as the mask.
Trade another piece of mind for another pound of fresh flesh
I lick the dust of dreams spilled over the sandy floor around me.
What is there for us when the night choses to swallow the smiles?
Cruel moon bleeds rain over my dimmed ravenous aura,
And my lungs have been thrown out with every new scream at her.
Travel through deaf winds to touch the delicate skin of your fallen ears.
Running frantic in circles I know i might, sooner or later, fall
Been there before, adored that in the past and built my idols there.
Sadistic desires of opening my chest wide open to show myself,
Drenching my body for pleasure, laughing out my guts for you.
The barriers have been moved to distract me in reflections,
And you are the statue in the middle standing there adorable,
so lovely stuck in my sinaptic unstoppable floods,
there, inside, as pretty an natural as usual, the perfect virus!
Angel with death wings, so grey and open, ready to fly,
to take me to another state of mind, and once again you stab.
Don't move, never been here before, not afraid but confused,
don't speak, don't breath, don't fly away my fallen angel...
Tell me, how was the face of the prodcut aborted merciless?
The one with a name, even before the light she had a name.
That makes it a human, a name and a future left aside for plans,
three letters erased from the plans of an Almighty planner.
And at nights, in darkness, laying down, eyes closed,
I repeat the same words to the One that listens my mute yells,
Be there, inside, turn flesh out of stone, unblind the beauty eyes,
Take me away if the will is that, but touch and put a smile on her.
In the end, I don't mind to be quiet in a wet and porous corner,
bald and blind and deaf, naked and freezing, infected and weak,
as long as you don't care and don't look at the sinking picture.
Once upon a time a person was happy, just then faced the truth!
NOONE!
martes, 9 de octubre de 2007
ALL THAT YOU ARE - MuDvAyNe
Repeating in my head
Betrayal
Repeating in my head
Insecurities
Repeating in my head
Dividends
It's not your fault
The well of thought and trust has run dry
Don't be afraid to let go
Don't be afraid to start over when it's over
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go of feelings
Let go of compromise
Hollow trunk for shelter
So dark and cold inside
I always seem to find myself alone
Jaded shell of being
Porous as a stone
Calloused
Rigid
Empty
Because of you
Let go of trusting
Lost thought for family
Let go of living
No more concerns of demise
I never seem to find rhythm for life's harmony
Contorted
Twisted broken
Without a reason
Calloused
Rigid
Empty
Because of you
It's all me
All you are
Without me
There's nothing else
There's no one
Brainwash
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Hope is out of season
Lost sight
No hint of light
Get busy living or get busy dying
Calloused
Rigid
Empty
Because of you
It's all me
All you are
Without me
There's nothing else
There's no one
Brainwash
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Save me
This loss
Closure my
Answer
So grant it
You owe me all that you are
Without me
You're nothing
You're no one
Terrified
Petrified
Nothing
You're no one
Do you care because I don't
Nothing
You're no one
Nobody cares so just go
Nothing
You're no one
By yourself all alone
It's all me
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Brainwash
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Save me
This loss
Closure my
Answer
So grant it
You owe me all that you are
Without me
You're nothing
Betrayal
Repeating in my head
Insecurities
Repeating in my head
Dividends
It's not your fault
The well of thought and trust has run dry
Don't be afraid to let go
Don't be afraid to start over when it's over
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go of feelings
Let go of compromise
Hollow trunk for shelter
So dark and cold inside
I always seem to find myself alone
Jaded shell of being
Porous as a stone
Calloused
Rigid
Empty
Because of you
Let go of trusting
Lost thought for family
Let go of living
No more concerns of demise
I never seem to find rhythm for life's harmony
Contorted
Twisted broken
Without a reason
Calloused
Rigid
Empty
Because of you
It's all me
All you are
Without me
There's nothing else
There's no one
Brainwash
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Hope is out of season
Lost sight
No hint of light
Get busy living or get busy dying
Calloused
Rigid
Empty
Because of you
It's all me
All you are
Without me
There's nothing else
There's no one
Brainwash
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Save me
This loss
Closure my
Answer
So grant it
You owe me all that you are
Without me
You're nothing
You're no one
Terrified
Petrified
Nothing
You're no one
Do you care because I don't
Nothing
You're no one
Nobody cares so just go
Nothing
You're no one
By yourself all alone
It's all me
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Brainwash
All you are
Without me
You're by yourself
There's no one
Save me
This loss
Closure my
Answer
So grant it
You owe me all that you are
Without me
You're nothing
SANITY
"Sanity is not a matter of statistics" George Orwell.
I rather be a crazy human being in this upsidedown world
Never meant to be a sheep following the tides of society
Who is insane and who is not? I don't care about that anymore
My world is my own reality. Through my eyes I find what's true!
Even though sometimes I rather get deceived by my own eyes.
Prisoner of my freedom cells I lay breathless, quiet and hushed
Passiveness is my fuel to remain the same, just to be safe.
One day I might wake up to realize nothing is what it seems
What's the wrong side of the mirror when you are starring?
Needed someone to take my hand and get me out of this world.
Now I rather stay. I am beginning to love this place, this loneliness
Nothing can hurt me now. I am now the product of too many scars.
Feed me with your pride, feed me with indifference, feed my hurts
My mind went for a ride somewhere outside this world,
Left here, something similar to a person, a tortoise in its shell...
If everyone wounds, then I would build the biggest wall against
I will remain here living this fantasies I call my life, no sense at all.
This is the dark side of me, the side I must kill for good.
Desperation kneels in front of me, asking to stay inside some more
And my decition was taken long before I turned my head at it.
And the voices bringing me down won't ever shut their little mouths
I need to wash it all away, cleanse the remains of the moments.
Why would I like to be the normal way? Why would I try to change?
Something got me this far, it will keep leading me to the next pit.
No more clocks running backwards and no more wishes for you.
Yes, it is me now screaming relentlessly for noone.
Why would you come back? Why would you even care?
"What's done is done, you'd just leave it alone and don't regret it"
A perfect cirlce was drawn now, the end of all things I've foreseen,
Shrinking my space to avoid the efforts of forgetting and forgiving.
AND NOTHING I DO WILL EVER BE WHAT I WANTED TO BE!
I rather be a crazy human being in this upsidedown world
Never meant to be a sheep following the tides of society
Who is insane and who is not? I don't care about that anymore
My world is my own reality. Through my eyes I find what's true!
Even though sometimes I rather get deceived by my own eyes.
Prisoner of my freedom cells I lay breathless, quiet and hushed
Passiveness is my fuel to remain the same, just to be safe.
One day I might wake up to realize nothing is what it seems
What's the wrong side of the mirror when you are starring?
Needed someone to take my hand and get me out of this world.
Now I rather stay. I am beginning to love this place, this loneliness
Nothing can hurt me now. I am now the product of too many scars.
Feed me with your pride, feed me with indifference, feed my hurts
My mind went for a ride somewhere outside this world,
Left here, something similar to a person, a tortoise in its shell...
If everyone wounds, then I would build the biggest wall against
I will remain here living this fantasies I call my life, no sense at all.
This is the dark side of me, the side I must kill for good.
Desperation kneels in front of me, asking to stay inside some more
And my decition was taken long before I turned my head at it.
And the voices bringing me down won't ever shut their little mouths
I need to wash it all away, cleanse the remains of the moments.
Why would I like to be the normal way? Why would I try to change?
Something got me this far, it will keep leading me to the next pit.
No more clocks running backwards and no more wishes for you.
Yes, it is me now screaming relentlessly for noone.
Why would you come back? Why would you even care?
"What's done is done, you'd just leave it alone and don't regret it"
A perfect cirlce was drawn now, the end of all things I've foreseen,
Shrinking my space to avoid the efforts of forgetting and forgiving.
AND NOTHING I DO WILL EVER BE WHAT I WANTED TO BE!
lunes, 8 de octubre de 2007
MIND=NIHIL
Is this supposed to be lived?
If it is, am I the one to live this?
So mutable I am, a paradox
Thoughts of the past feeding nothing
No more warmness left inside
Don't need a word, if it's not just mine
Something noone else would hear,
A precious gift I'll never have
A smile inside that rots in depression
A path rust waiting for a walker
Not me, not anymore.
Can't avoid becoming so numb
It's what I wanted or deserved...
You can keep carving my flesh
I feel no regrets!
If it is, am I the one to live this?
So mutable I am, a paradox
Thoughts of the past feeding nothing
No more warmness left inside
Don't need a word, if it's not just mine
Something noone else would hear,
A precious gift I'll never have
A smile inside that rots in depression
A path rust waiting for a walker
Not me, not anymore.
Can't avoid becoming so numb
It's what I wanted or deserved...
You can keep carving my flesh
I feel no regrets!
viernes, 5 de octubre de 2007
FTF
El secreto detrás de la música, la música que me alienta (lacrimotherapy as Maynard J. Keenan would call it!)... FTF... Ya van cinco recopilaciones de los momentos y frases representativas... Dos años creando esto y sigue de largo... FTF! F. Twisted Feelings... Jajaja... Dije que haría algún SOUNDTRACK de mi vida alguna vez, pero ya estaba ahí, FTF! Mis insiraciones auditivas para ser lo que soy, para hacer el contrapeso a la persona que sonríe que llaman Pato (sip, ese es el NON-EGO)! My dark side has been baptized genously... ABSUM! I like it! En fin, ayer grabé el quinto de la colección... La lista completa:
FTF 1 (agosto 2005 y mejoras en el 2006):
1. Deftones - Change (In the House Flies) (Acoustic) => Too much, ain't it?
2. Duality - SliPKnoT => I am the duality!
3. Sour - Limp Bizkit => Yes, I know, but the lyrics are great!
4. Find my Way - P.O.D. => Will I ever?
5. Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park => The eternal search...
6. Tourniquet - MM => Do not judge please! I identify...
7. H. - Tool => First motivation for all of this!
8. Watermark - SiQ => "Have you ever?"...
9. Comforatble Liar - Chevelle => The convenience of a lie...
10. Nothing to Gein - MuDvAyNe => "Soiled dirty boy...
11. I Will be Heard - Hatebreed => "Now is the time...!"
12. What Comes Around - Ill Niño => "...Has now turned to HATE!"
13. My Throat is an Open Grave - Demon Hunter => My fingers too!
14. Deafening Silence - MachineHead => That's loneliness...
15. So Far Away - Staind => "I am not ashamed of who I am now!"
16. ...And she told me to leave => "Should I? Would I? Could I?"
17. 3 Libras - A Perfect Circle => Preciosa canción, el concepto de angiablo tiene que ver con esta canción también...
18. Esclavo de Ilusión . A.N.I.M.A.L. => "Un as de espadas y un as de corazón"... broche de oro!
FTF 2 (septiembre 2005, after CCC, fixed a year later, the SOAD song)
1. Yellow - Colplay => Please somebody shoot me now!
2. Without You - 3 Doors Down => The mellow start for what's to come... Alone now (at that time... well, alone now too)
3. Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver => Beautiful guitar riff, thanx Slash!
4. Creep - Radiohead => ! (que más se puede decir ante tan excelente canción!)
5. Take Me - Papa Roach => La tengo escrita en tantas hojas del cuaderno...
6. Passive - A Perfect Circle => MJ Keenan otra vez! "Maybe you're better off that way!"
7. Someday - Nickelback => "Someday I will" (make this all-right!)
8. Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers => "Take me all the way!" But please, do it!
9. Warm Safe Place - Staind => This one reminds me of the smiles when I was 16/17
10. Goodbye for Now - P.O.D. => When will be the next hello?
11. Boiler - Limp Bizkit => Once again, the lyrics!
12. Don't Stay - Linkin Park => Hmmm, just don't stay!!!!
13. Poem - Taproot => My many "blessings in desguise"
14. Running from Me - Trust Company => The safest way to solve things
15. World so Cold - MuDvAyNe => "Never live, never trust, never care about anyone or anything!"
16. Question! - System of a Down => Instead of Counting on Me - KoRn
17. Passenger - Deftones (f. MJ Keenan) => Dentro de ese carro todo!
18. Bother - Stone Sour => Ah, Corey Taylor! You don't need to bother...
19. With You - Ill Niño => If it is you, it is forever... If not... Buajaja!
FTF 3 (2006)
1. The Noose - A Perfect Circle => Thoughts of a room, nobody home, your eyes and mine... But I throwed all away!
2. Drive (Far Away) - Deftones => Somebody please take me out (of myself!)
3. Forfeit . Chevelle => A Toolesque band with a Deftonesque touche
4. Happy? - MuDvAyNe => Gosh! What a song! Too good!
5. Letting Go - Ill Niño => "Killing you is killing me"
6. Orchids - Stone Sour =>"You're too busy writing your epitaph... Just to say you never left me!"
7. Fine Again - Seether => Reminds me of the first time at the new house... fine... again???
8. Right Here Waiting - Staind => The person involved knows the meaning of this song... But neither of us kept right there waiting!
9. Numb - ? => I don't even know the name of the song or the artist... I love the song, sounds like Disturbed and SiQ!
10. The Pot - Tool => "Who are you to wave your finger?"
11. Black - Pearl Jam => Another one for the same involved person!
12. You're Mine - Taproot => Me encantaba creer eso!
13. Take this Away - Saliva => "SOMEBODY TAKE THIS AWAY!"
14. Perfect Self - StereoMud => Hmmm... Goes right with the mood of the album
15. Drive - Incubus => For the same person "Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes!"
16. Lullaby - Creed => Same person... Loved that song... It was supposed to be THE lullaby!
17. Bypass - Alicia STXP => Bujujuuuuu... Que trágico el disquito!!!
18. Piloto Automático - Mortero => Pa recobrar el ánimo: "Imágenes vidrios molidos en mi cerebro"
FTF 4 (marzo 2007 máximo... luego del siguiente adiós)
1. Best of You - Foo Fighters => Reminds me of somwhere at CCC, "I'm tired of starting again somewhere new"
2. World Falls Away - Seether => I love this song! Sets my mood always
3. Topless - Breaking Benjamin => "I'm on my knees, you, me!"
4. Dig - Incubus => For the one in the USA at that time!
5. No Ordinary Love - Deftones (Sade cover) => It was no ordinary love, gave everything? Jiji... Great song!
6. Attitude - Alien Ant Farm => "Your solitude is welcome"
7. Getaway Car - Audioslace => That was supposed to be in the first FTF disc!
8. Through Glass - Stone Sour => The stars, they shine for you, they lie to you!
9. My Pleasant Torture - Ill Niño => What a great name for a song!!!! What a great song too!!!!
10. I hate Everything about You - Three Days Grace => Any explanations?
11. Mute - Drowining Pool => Picture in my mind: Me alone walking in the middle of the streets yelling this song out from my lungs spitting my heart out on a rainy night of december 2003! "There's nothing left here to talk about!"
12. Spiders - System of a Down => Great tune!
13. Sober - Tool => Ironically it reminds me of a time... EVIL ME! (Exlude the first chorus please...!)
14. The Speed of Pain - MM => "Times you want it goes away too fast, times you hate it, always seems to last!"
15. Everything Changes - Staind => Almost a filler song...
16. There for You - Flyleaf => Another filler song!
17. Weak and Powerless - A Perfect Circle => Hmmm, it's a beautiful song, I like it but I don't know why! RAVENOUS!
18. More Than A Memory - Hoobastank => Just like the melody... And well, it should have been more than a memory...
FTF 5 (a day ago!)
1. Lost - The Cure => The new great band for me! Wrote the lyrics recently, I was thinking of Us or Them and Going Nowhere, but Lost, that's the song!
2. English Summer Rain - Placebo => The song keeping me alive coming back from THE city... I love love love love love love love this song!
3. Heart-shaped Glass - MM => "Don't break my heart and I won't break you heart-shaped glasses!" But we both did!
4. Kiss - KoRn => "Why you always push me away?"
5. Beauty Cruel - SiQ => Seismic seconds... Flesh on burning flesh... Interesting lyrics!
6. Afraid this Time - Celldweller => "Even if you want, you can't hurt me now!" Wow, showed this one to another angiabla!
7. Just so you Know - American Head Charge => "I wish your body was not so warm to me" Hearing in the buses too
8. One More Day - Mushroomhead => ...to regret
9. All That you Are - MuDvAyNe => Another raging moment in my life to be spit out in a Mudvayne's song
10. Cold Reader - Stone Sour => "Why do I always have to suffer the consequences?"
11. Evil Angel - Breaking Benjamin => Equals ANGEVIL, equals ANGIABLO
12. Waking Up - 10 Years => For the girl in that city
13. Never Leave - Seether => Sung all around that city!
14. Scars - Papa Roach => Great lyrics, found it in the computer of that city!
15. Hold On (f. Scott Weiland) - Limp Bizkit => That song has been wandering in my head for 5 years now! Finally out...
16. Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews => Ah! The greatest dilemma always... "I wanted you not to leave, but you did"
17. Soledad - Sal y Mileto => Mucha atención: Alter Ego, esta es por ti ya sabes! Con esta te encontre pois!
18. The Patient - Tool => "I am still right here, giving blood, keeping faith" The grand finale for all of this...
FTF 6... Coming soon... Help me do this straight please!
Eso no más! Elé...
FTF 1 (agosto 2005 y mejoras en el 2006):
1. Deftones - Change (In the House Flies) (Acoustic) => Too much, ain't it?
2. Duality - SliPKnoT => I am the duality!
3. Sour - Limp Bizkit => Yes, I know, but the lyrics are great!
4. Find my Way - P.O.D. => Will I ever?
5. Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park => The eternal search...
6. Tourniquet - MM => Do not judge please! I identify...
7. H. - Tool => First motivation for all of this!
8. Watermark - SiQ => "Have you ever?"...
9. Comforatble Liar - Chevelle => The convenience of a lie...
10. Nothing to Gein - MuDvAyNe => "Soiled dirty boy...
11. I Will be Heard - Hatebreed => "Now is the time...!"
12. What Comes Around - Ill Niño => "...Has now turned to HATE!"
13. My Throat is an Open Grave - Demon Hunter => My fingers too!
14. Deafening Silence - MachineHead => That's loneliness...
15. So Far Away - Staind => "I am not ashamed of who I am now!"
16. ...And she told me to leave => "Should I? Would I? Could I?"
17. 3 Libras - A Perfect Circle => Preciosa canción, el concepto de angiablo tiene que ver con esta canción también...
18. Esclavo de Ilusión . A.N.I.M.A.L. => "Un as de espadas y un as de corazón"... broche de oro!
FTF 2 (septiembre 2005, after CCC, fixed a year later, the SOAD song)
1. Yellow - Colplay => Please somebody shoot me now!
2. Without You - 3 Doors Down => The mellow start for what's to come... Alone now (at that time... well, alone now too)
3. Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver => Beautiful guitar riff, thanx Slash!
4. Creep - Radiohead => ! (que más se puede decir ante tan excelente canción!)
5. Take Me - Papa Roach => La tengo escrita en tantas hojas del cuaderno...
6. Passive - A Perfect Circle => MJ Keenan otra vez! "Maybe you're better off that way!"
7. Someday - Nickelback => "Someday I will" (make this all-right!)
8. Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers => "Take me all the way!" But please, do it!
9. Warm Safe Place - Staind => This one reminds me of the smiles when I was 16/17
10. Goodbye for Now - P.O.D. => When will be the next hello?
11. Boiler - Limp Bizkit => Once again, the lyrics!
12. Don't Stay - Linkin Park => Hmmm, just don't stay!!!!
13. Poem - Taproot => My many "blessings in desguise"
14. Running from Me - Trust Company => The safest way to solve things
15. World so Cold - MuDvAyNe => "Never live, never trust, never care about anyone or anything!"
16. Question! - System of a Down => Instead of Counting on Me - KoRn
17. Passenger - Deftones (f. MJ Keenan) => Dentro de ese carro todo!
18. Bother - Stone Sour => Ah, Corey Taylor! You don't need to bother...
19. With You - Ill Niño => If it is you, it is forever... If not... Buajaja!
FTF 3 (2006)
1. The Noose - A Perfect Circle => Thoughts of a room, nobody home, your eyes and mine... But I throwed all away!
2. Drive (Far Away) - Deftones => Somebody please take me out (of myself!)
3. Forfeit . Chevelle => A Toolesque band with a Deftonesque touche
4. Happy? - MuDvAyNe => Gosh! What a song! Too good!
5. Letting Go - Ill Niño => "Killing you is killing me"
6. Orchids - Stone Sour =>"You're too busy writing your epitaph... Just to say you never left me!"
7. Fine Again - Seether => Reminds me of the first time at the new house... fine... again???
8. Right Here Waiting - Staind => The person involved knows the meaning of this song... But neither of us kept right there waiting!
9. Numb - ? => I don't even know the name of the song or the artist... I love the song, sounds like Disturbed and SiQ!
10. The Pot - Tool => "Who are you to wave your finger?"
11. Black - Pearl Jam => Another one for the same involved person!
12. You're Mine - Taproot => Me encantaba creer eso!
13. Take this Away - Saliva => "SOMEBODY TAKE THIS AWAY!"
14. Perfect Self - StereoMud => Hmmm... Goes right with the mood of the album
15. Drive - Incubus => For the same person "Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes!"
16. Lullaby - Creed => Same person... Loved that song... It was supposed to be THE lullaby!
17. Bypass - Alicia STXP => Bujujuuuuu... Que trágico el disquito!!!
18. Piloto Automático - Mortero => Pa recobrar el ánimo: "Imágenes vidrios molidos en mi cerebro"
FTF 4 (marzo 2007 máximo... luego del siguiente adiós)
1. Best of You - Foo Fighters => Reminds me of somwhere at CCC, "I'm tired of starting again somewhere new"
2. World Falls Away - Seether => I love this song! Sets my mood always
3. Topless - Breaking Benjamin => "I'm on my knees,
4. Dig - Incubus => For the one in the USA at that time!
5. No Ordinary Love - Deftones (Sade cover) => It was no ordinary love, gave everything? Jiji... Great song!
6. Attitude - Alien Ant Farm => "Your solitude is welcome"
7. Getaway Car - Audioslace => That was supposed to be in the first FTF disc!
8. Through Glass - Stone Sour => The stars, they shine for you, they lie to you!
9. My Pleasant Torture - Ill Niño => What a great name for a song!!!! What a great song too!!!!
10. I hate Everything about You - Three Days Grace => Any explanations?
11. Mute - Drowining Pool => Picture in my mind: Me alone walking in the middle of the streets yelling this song out from my lungs spitting my heart out on a rainy night of december 2003! "There's nothing left here to talk about!"
12. Spiders - System of a Down => Great tune!
13. Sober - Tool => Ironically it reminds me of a time... EVIL ME! (Exlude the first chorus please...!)
14. The Speed of Pain - MM => "Times you want it goes away too fast, times you hate it, always seems to last!"
15. Everything Changes - Staind => Almost a filler song...
16. There for You - Flyleaf => Another filler song!
17. Weak and Powerless - A Perfect Circle => Hmmm, it's a beautiful song, I like it but I don't know why! RAVENOUS!
18. More Than A Memory - Hoobastank => Just like the melody... And well, it should have been more than a memory...
FTF 5 (a day ago!)
1. Lost - The Cure => The new great band for me! Wrote the lyrics recently, I was thinking of Us or Them and Going Nowhere, but Lost, that's the song!
2. English Summer Rain - Placebo => The song keeping me alive coming back from THE city... I love love love love love love love this song!
3. Heart-shaped Glass - MM => "Don't break my heart and I won't break you heart-shaped glasses!" But we both did!
4. Kiss - KoRn => "Why you always push me away?"
5. Beauty Cruel - SiQ => Seismic seconds... Flesh on burning flesh... Interesting lyrics!
6. Afraid this Time - Celldweller => "Even if you want, you can't hurt me now!" Wow, showed this one to another angiabla!
7. Just so you Know - American Head Charge => "I wish your body was not so warm to me" Hearing in the buses too
8. One More Day - Mushroomhead => ...to regret
9. All That you Are - MuDvAyNe => Another raging moment in my life to be spit out in a Mudvayne's song
10. Cold Reader - Stone Sour => "Why do I always have to suffer the consequences?"
11. Evil Angel - Breaking Benjamin => Equals ANGEVIL, equals ANGIABLO
12. Waking Up - 10 Years => For the girl in that city
13. Never Leave - Seether => Sung all around that city!
14. Scars - Papa Roach => Great lyrics, found it in the computer of that city!
15. Hold On (f. Scott Weiland) - Limp Bizkit => That song has been wandering in my head for 5 years now! Finally out...
16. Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews => Ah! The greatest dilemma always... "I wanted you not to leave, but you did"
17. Soledad - Sal y Mileto => Mucha atención: Alter Ego, esta es por ti ya sabes! Con esta te encontre pois!
18. The Patient - Tool => "I am still right here, giving blood, keeping faith" The grand finale for all of this...
FTF 6... Coming soon... Help me do this straight please!
Eso no más! Elé...
jueves, 4 de octubre de 2007
FURTHER DOWN THE SPIRAL
Just can't help it... I know I can't stop! I walk further downwards...
shame on me, cause I know where it all ends...
But, in the end, will it ever worth it?
What do I like? What the hell do I deserve?
Asked that to myself before, and still have no answers.
sliding down till something stops me, the floor maybe?
No love, no trust, no care, no past, no path,
psycopath, that's the road to desperation,
alone with no more expectations
Cities gone from my mind, maps erased,
deleting again for the sake of... mine!
Todo tiende a resbalar cuando se pierde
pero la esperanza es lo ultimo que muere
de derrota en derrota no es mucho lo que se siente
de disfraz en disfraz, de silueta a silueta
mi sombra se agranda y anda suelta
buscando un cuerpo al que pertenecer
descubrien do el significado de merecer
cegueras temporales por conveniencia
dilatan el amortiguamiento de mi conciencia
sin siquiera querer apagar el recuerdo,
desconectar el cerebro, desaparecer mi cuerpo.
Cicatrices autoinflingidas por necedad,
o por desesperación y miedo a la soledad.
Pero, nunca te olvides de respirar,
no te canses de girar y girar.
LOOK AT ME NOW?
Is this what you felt you could recognize?
Is it me what you're starring at?
Crumbling flesh, tattered eyes...
Everything forgotten and pushed away
Left me in the train and shed no tears
and time went by, centuries around me
Statues of thoughts in the past
Yourself and myself, together in fantasies
Two hours from what I call real
And two million days from what could've been
Call my name! Can you remember that?
Two weeks is too long to be lived
and too short to change a life
Weak and lonely?
Yes, so what!?
Come again, come back, look at me
Be afraid one last time
Shiver with me, don't control
F*** your plans and wake up
No dreams can be lived without love
and no life can be dreamt without passion
No love can be lived with fear
No fear can be loved in life!
Forget me now, and turn yourself off in me
Get your world outta my head...
Hang my heart in your walls
Allow me a last glimpse at a smile
Bring me into your world and your roofs
Make me the next wallpaper in your room
Use my skin to clean your floors
Just let my fly in the cloud we owed
I don't care, drop yourself off
I won't die, not today...
Your dreams are my nightmares...
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?
'cause I can't...
Blank mirrors in front of me
I am a ghost looking for what's not missing
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?
Tell me how!
I will walk blindly to follow you
But following you is missing myself
Further down the spiral there's a price for me
Thought it was you...
Instead it is me... all alone...
Breathless.. .
White...
Static....
ABSUM!
shame on me, cause I know where it all ends...
But, in the end, will it ever worth it?
What do I like? What the hell do I deserve?
Asked that to myself before, and still have no answers.
sliding down till something stops me, the floor maybe?
No love, no trust, no care, no past, no path,
psycopath, that's the road to desperation,
alone with no more expectations
Cities gone from my mind, maps erased,
deleting again for the sake of... mine!
Todo tiende a resbalar cuando se pierde
pero la esperanza es lo ultimo que muere
de derrota en derrota no es mucho lo que se siente
de disfraz en disfraz, de silueta a silueta
mi sombra se agranda y anda suelta
buscando un cuerpo al que pertenecer
descubrien do el significado de merecer
cegueras temporales por conveniencia
dilatan el amortiguamiento de mi conciencia
sin siquiera querer apagar el recuerdo,
desconectar el cerebro, desaparecer mi cuerpo.
Cicatrices autoinflingidas por necedad,
o por desesperación y miedo a la soledad.
Pero, nunca te olvides de respirar,
no te canses de girar y girar.
LOOK AT ME NOW?
Is this what you felt you could recognize?
Is it me what you're starring at?
Crumbling flesh, tattered eyes...
Everything forgotten and pushed away
Left me in the train and shed no tears
and time went by, centuries around me
Statues of thoughts in the past
Yourself and myself, together in fantasies
Two hours from what I call real
And two million days from what could've been
Call my name! Can you remember that?
Two weeks is too long to be lived
and too short to change a life
Weak and lonely?
Yes, so what!?
Come again, come back, look at me
Be afraid one last time
Shiver with me, don't control
F*** your plans and wake up
No dreams can be lived without love
and no life can be dreamt without passion
No love can be lived with fear
No fear can be loved in life!
Forget me now, and turn yourself off in me
Get your world outta my head...
Hang my heart in your walls
Allow me a last glimpse at a smile
Bring me into your world and your roofs
Make me the next wallpaper in your room
Use my skin to clean your floors
Just let my fly in the cloud we owed
I don't care, drop yourself off
I won't die, not today...
Your dreams are my nightmares...
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?
'cause I can't...
Blank mirrors in front of me
I am a ghost looking for what's not missing
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?
Tell me how!
I will walk blindly to follow you
But following you is missing myself
Further down the spiral there's a price for me
Thought it was you...
Instead it is me... all alone...
Breathless.. .
White...
Static....
ABSUM!
RETAZOS DE FRASES
Y, ¿cuál fue la coincidencia a fin de cuentas? Solo estar en el mismo lugar a la misma hora. Una falla en el sistema. Y sigo más perdido que al inicio. El camino de regreso a Happinness estuvo demasiado claro por tan poco tiempo que en un parpadeo de 65 días se perdió, y para siempre dicen las malas lenguas. TODO VOLVIÓ A SER EL ENGAÑO DEL QUE HUÍA. Aún necesito encontrar el camino de regreso… Pero ahora por más que quiera no puedo preguntar. La razón gano al corazón. "Este es el inicio de un sueño", sí, puede ser, pero es el aborto de 87.000. Y al fin, mi precoz necedad es la criminal en este asesinato. Auto-eliminación por bien común. No quiero colores, vuelvo al BLANCO Y NEGRO… Vuelve el ANGIABLO sin remedio, con alas más pequeñas y cuernos más pronunciados. Vuelven las horas interminables de catatonia del ánima. Reafirmado el genocidio neuronal, la vasectomía del corazón, el calambre de alma, cáncer sentimental, funeral del EGO, otra dosis de mi muerte a plazos… Pero sigo tan seco por dentro y por fuera, descubro que el vacío interno no late más. Es la mente la que juega conmigo, no el "músculo que bombea sangre". Y SIEMPRE ES LO MEJOR. Maldita ironía indulgente cliché venenoso que pretende borrar consecuencias y cargar la culpa. ¿Qué carajo merezco? ¿Felicidades pasajeras? ¿Dónde carajo pertenezco? ¿En ilusiones decrépitas y suicidas? Y siempre el sentimiento mártir de querer volver en el tiempo para corregir lo inadmisible que también es inmutable. La música es mi placebo psico-emocional y la cura de mi infección cardio-nerviosa. Pero siempre tengo preparada una inyección de hielo. Esclavos todos de nuestras propias decisiones. Protégeme de querer marcarme un esquema excluyente de vida, pase lo que pase no quiero que QUERER sea un obstáculo para ser feliz. No me voy a encerrar, mas no quiero engañar a nadie hasta saber que morí y nací otra vez, listo para otra vuelta al mismo círculo de vida, cada vez más lejos del centro… Es más estoy olvidando cuál es el centro. GOD, don't let me be another versiono f me, another victimo f the circumstances. I wanna live, I wanna love, but it's a long hard road out of HERE. Going nowhere… I guess I thought she had the flavour.
WRONG AGAIN… START AGAIN… (but I'm tired of starting again somewhere new!)
Y SÁDICAMENTE AÚN IRÍA A MARTE
WRONG AGAIN… START AGAIN… (but I'm tired of starting again somewhere new!)
Y SÁDICAMENTE AÚN IRÍA A MARTE
IRONIA?
Sabia ironía el volver a llegar en último lugar a una carrera entre dos personas. Llegar último solo para saborear la pérdida en el alma. Pero no soy yo, eres tú y mi alma se siente mejor al saber que te pierdo porque no fallé, perdí no porque perdí, dime tú entonces. Y si muero hoy? Dirás tú, sin él no soy nada? Dirás tu que fui tu amor fugaz al menos una vez? Y mi seguridad de una lágrima tuya en mi funeral era solo un deseo utópico. Dónde está la niña que pudo decir que me amaba? Me enamoré de un presente o un pasado? Y siento una vez más como la independencia es mi esclavitud a la soledad. Aprenderé esta vez? Pero tengo a mi Señor conmigo. Me faltas tú mujer, lo sé, pero no me muero, ya no hoy. Para ti probablemente sí, o al menos sería algo nuevo.
QUE HACER
Qué hacer cuando te topas con la persona equivocada con la apariencia de aquello que amaste tanto...
Qué hacer cuando los papeles que esperabas alrededor tuyo se invierten...
Qué se puede hacer cuando ya no recibes lo que antes recibías de los mismos ojos que ahora te incomprenden y te aniquilan...
Qué hacer cuando las exigencias de ti superan lo que esperabas recibir de la otra persona...
Qué hacer cuando el sentido de tu vida se invierte y lo positivo se vuelve negativo lo caliente frío, etc.
Qué esperar de lo que ya no puede dar mas por dejar abiertas heridas del pasado...
Qué hacer cuando justo lo que quieres hacer es lo que esperan que no hagas...
Qué hacer cuando el compromiso que adquiriste por amor se vuelve en el veneno que te agota...
Qué hacer cuando recibes la medicina para tu enfermedad de lo que te enfermaba antes...
Qué hacer cuando tu confusión es tan grande que llega a ser tu estado normal de ver el mundo!
Qué hacer cuando los papeles que esperabas alrededor tuyo se invierten...
Qué se puede hacer cuando ya no recibes lo que antes recibías de los mismos ojos que ahora te incomprenden y te aniquilan...
Qué hacer cuando las exigencias de ti superan lo que esperabas recibir de la otra persona...
Qué hacer cuando el sentido de tu vida se invierte y lo positivo se vuelve negativo lo caliente frío, etc.
Qué esperar de lo que ya no puede dar mas por dejar abiertas heridas del pasado...
Qué hacer cuando justo lo que quieres hacer es lo que esperan que no hagas...
Qué hacer cuando el compromiso que adquiriste por amor se vuelve en el veneno que te agota...
Qué hacer cuando recibes la medicina para tu enfermedad de lo que te enfermaba antes...
Qué hacer cuando tu confusión es tan grande que llega a ser tu estado normal de ver el mundo!
LINGERING
Quench your thirst upon my blood
Drench out everything in your sight range
Let go your fears I still shiver on indecision
There is a dock inside my soul to prevent me
Walls building, scars digging, death’s knocking
Still stand emptier than before but that’s it
I know this is what it gets, or at least suppose so
Truth is hidden underneath a starving heart
Looked for this, and found it
No questions, no tears
No regrets, no remorse
No life, left lonely, stay last
But I keep my eyes open staring into
Nothing at all, realize, a space left in the air
The halo you left behind in front of me
The hope I keep while turning around in madness
Keeping, standing, catatonic, staring, frozen
Boiling, rotting, growing, doublethinking
That’s what it gets no suppositions now: it’s me
Truth gone away with the dust lifted by your feet
I am the same;
Linger to show how stupid one can get
I always fall
Trust in lies dressed as a beauty queen
I kiss the floor
Tears to wash the shadow left by dreams
I close my eyes
Drifting without moving any neuron
I walk on now
This overwhelming presence fades with me
I fly away now
This overwhelming presence dies with me
Drench out everything in your sight range
Let go your fears I still shiver on indecision
There is a dock inside my soul to prevent me
Walls building, scars digging, death’s knocking
Still stand emptier than before but that’s it
I know this is what it gets, or at least suppose so
Truth is hidden underneath a starving heart
Looked for this, and found it
No questions, no tears
No regrets, no remorse
No life, left lonely, stay last
But I keep my eyes open staring into
Nothing at all, realize, a space left in the air
The halo you left behind in front of me
The hope I keep while turning around in madness
Keeping, standing, catatonic, staring, frozen
Boiling, rotting, growing, doublethinking
That’s what it gets no suppositions now: it’s me
Truth gone away with the dust lifted by your feet
I am the same;
Linger to show how stupid one can get
I always fall
Trust in lies dressed as a beauty queen
I kiss the floor
Tears to wash the shadow left by dreams
I close my eyes
Drifting without moving any neuron
I walk on now
This overwhelming presence fades with me
I fly away now
This overwhelming presence dies with me
BEING INTIMIDATED BY YOU (BACK FROM 2005)
Everything in my life has lost the meaning
It’s like I have never been in this place
All the pain inside my soul is growing
I can see again your soiled face!
Will I someday figure out what it was?
What it was to feel submissiveness
To feel like a worthless piece of trash
Hate this you filled me: worthlessness
And someday it’ll change for good
Turn the tables as if it was the only way
I will unveil what you never called truth
Now I know I must push you far away!
It’s all the same, it’s all the same, it’s all the same inside
Oh no, I don’t know, maybe I’m just insane
I’ve Been Intimidated By You
I’ve lost a track I thought was true
I don’t wanna be just like you
Who are you?
Now you think you realize how it is to be me
I cannot bear the suffering caught here inside my vein
Inside your fears my heart is what you really see
But outside there is nothing left of my trail
Time and time again trying to keep my head up
But in three seconds the aura of your strips
See the naked soul I’ve been till now fed up
Coming closer to your coldness gives me creeps
And someday it’ll change for good
Turn the tables as if it was the only way
I will unveil what you never called truth
Now I know I must push you far away!
Where can I go now…
Everything is gone
Where can I go now…
You rip the string holding me
MOVING OUT, MOVING IN... ENDLESSLY...
A verrrrr... De hi5 a MySpace a Tagged... pero Alter Ego me trajo acá... Nuevo inicio... Tendré que ponerme a cuentas acá... Full cosas que deben estar acá y las tengo diseminadas en tantas paginas! Jajaja...
ABSUM EGO SUM! Siempre los inicios son interesantes, la cuestión es no dejarse llevar por la rutina ni por la maldita costumbre. Este es mi pequeño mundito, mi lugar para desahogar mis pensamientos y mis contradicciones, mi terapia y mi camino para buscarme a mi mismo! Como la típica pregunta telefónica: -¿Se encuentra Pato? -Aún no, pero lo sigue intentando!
En fin, este es el resultado de las cosas que me suceden o sucedieron o debieron suceder o sucederán... POR FAVOR: Comenten, frieguen, manden al cebo, no insulten no más!
ABSUM EGO SUM! Will you find me here? Closer to you Speculum... Nothing else worked out... And as they say: Si la montaña no viene a ti, ve tu hacia la montaña... Si no puedes contra ellos únetelos... THE FACT IS I AM HERE, Carus Especulum... please FIND ME!
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